“PJ, how do you find the things that make you tick or are deeply motivating and are important to you? I’m actually stuck there and it’s quite frankly, embarrassing. Where’s my self-motivation?! I have spent most of my life doing what I should do, I don’t even know what I enjoy anymore—any clues how to break through that?”
Yes, absolutely. In fact, the answer to this question is the same as most of the “getting started” questions I receive. The answer is actually a question.
“What do you want your life to look like?”
Totally unfair, right? Can’t I just give you a simple answer to this simple question? After all, how complicated can it be to tell someone else what is important to them?
We all have to answer this question for ourselves because questions can get us on the right track to self-motivation. The biggest key is to take a couple of extra minutes and set down with your pen and paper (yes, you have to write) and play a game I learned as a kid, called I wish, I would, I will.
I want you to finish the statement—I wish—and write down what it is that you wish about your life. What do you wish? There are no limitations on a wish.
Next, complete the statement – I would. “If I had the time, I would…” “If I could, I would…” If money was not an issue, what would you do? If nobody expected anything from you, you would… Just let those answers flow.
I will. This is a big one. Get bold! “I will do this!” Let something huge slip out and see if the world blows up…(it won’t)
Go ahead, fill in the blanks and don’t fill it with boring stuff like, “make sure my family is financially secure,” or “have a rewarding career.” No kidding… forgive me, but those are given. Dream a little and make something come alive inside of you. Just let yourself flow.
You’re not trying to limit yourself. You’re not trying to talk yourself into fake-it-until-you-make-it, or any other such nonsense. You’re just trying to identify—“what’s really at the heart of who I am?”
The way you complete those statements will tell you volumes about what makes you tick and motivates you. Pay attention to the answers. And please don’t look at the simplicity of the exercise and think, “Yeah, I know that could help me.” One of the things I fight in the business that I’m in is that how people feel like if something is familiar, it can be bypassed. I’ve been in this material now for seventeen years (Think of anything that you’ve done for seventeen years consistently) and I’m always finding new nuances, angles, and uses. I live in this material every single day. I eat it, sleep it, breathe it, I love this stuff. My whole life integrates around these types of things.
My biggest challenge with each new class, program, article, or coaching session I think, “I wrote a book about this stuff, can’t people get that stuff out of the book?” “I did a course that was close to this, so they can get all that information out of there.”
The thing that I find, is even the people that have read the book, maybe been into one or two classes, read my blog and newsletter every single week…everything I put out, every video I’ve ever done. They’ve watched, listened, read…they’ve done it all. Then I get an email from one of them or get a chance to interact with them individually.
They’ll tell me what it is they’re going through and I ask them what the vision for their life is. What they want it to look like. This gives us a baseline to work from so I can help.
Here’s the thing…nobody can ever answer the question. They can’t answer the question and they’ve been through all my stuff! I’ll say, “what’s your vision?” They’ll say, “well I know it’s important and I need to do it.”
Knowing something intellectually is a universe away from implementing. If you know that you need a Vision to guide your life… if you know that understanding your Purpose will help you… if you know that being able to Believe is crucial to moving forward… if you know that there are people you need to Forgive and that you need to lay out Action steps and find Gratitude in your life and stay Aware of all the things going on around you—that’s cool! You know stuff.
But unless you’re actually doing stuff, unless you’ve done the dirty work to get in and ride it out. To pull it out of you and unearth things that are inside the magnificent being that you are…you’re not doing anything for yourself. Remember that SELF-motivation starts with SELF. It is an incredible waste of your time to know something and not do anything with it.
Please, please, please, please—God help me get this point across—don’t rest on the fact that you’ve heard something like this before. Implement it! Get in there and get after it. You’ll know when you have because you’ll see results. That’s what matters.
Be your best.